04 Dec Why Is Asking For Help So Scary?
It’s been said many times that we teach what we most need to learn. There is no doubt that saying applies to me. Some of the toughest lessons for me have been to completely embrace asking for help and accepting help. And I know I’m not alone. Why is that? I posted a question in our Facebook community to find out why it’s so tough and the answers came pouring in.
“It’s a weakness”
“It makes me feel like I’m not enough”
“Too much pride”
“Is it safe? Can I trust them?”
“Vulnerability, baby! The struggle is real!”
“I hate to fail and asking for help is scary”
“…seem less capable than you would like to be perceived”
“I don’t want to be judged”
“I’m not sure how to explain what I need”
“Fear of looking stupid”
“Our culture prides itself on individualism.”
Reading through these answers, it is clear that it takes a tremendous amount of COURAGE to ask for help. As one person wrote, “It takes a large amount of strength to admit you don’t have all the answers, and really, who does?” What a great question. Really, who does?
What’s at the heart of this issue? What’s on the other side of all these fears? For me, it’s a two-fold issue – trust and knowing my outcome.
It is easier to ask those I trust the most for help. And yet, there are times, even that’s difficult. There are also times I need the help of someone I don’t know as well and haven’t developed trust with that person. Then what?
Here’s the kicker. The only person I MUST trust is myself, and be 100% committed to my outcome, my purpose, what I say I want. Yes, sometimes I will fall down. Sometimes I will be judged, hurt, and people may think less of me. And all of that is scary. At least it is for me.
So, the relationship I work on every day is the one I have with myself – to trust myself enough to be vulnerable and ask for help so I can keep moving forward. I celebrate how far I’ve come, AND I celebrate how much further I still have to grow because the joy (for me) is getting to that next level of trust, that next level of commitment, that next level of relationships where others trust me enough to ask for help.
As a leader I want my team to trust me and let me know when they need help. So it’s important to know if I have role modeled that it’s OK to do so. Have I made it safe? Have I made myself available?
Take a moment today and do a quick self-assessment. Where are your fears winning, and as a result, what are you losing? Know what you want. Build trust with yourself. Build trust with others. Raise your hand and ask for help. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back!
Are you frustrated that things aren’t unfolding in your life the way you want? Maybe it’s at work or maybe it’s at home. We know how hard it can be to ask for help. We also know that going it alone is a recipe for staying stuck. This is why we are currently offering complimentary Amplify Your Results coaching sessions. It’s our way of making that first step easier.
We believe in you. We see you, and we know that you have greatness inside that is ready to break through. This coaching session is a powerful way to uncover what story is creating your current situation and what story is ready to create your new epic High5 Life. Email me TODAY at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Let’s talk” to claim your free coaching session.