I Didn’t Know What To Say

I didn’t know what to think as I learned about what happened in Charlottesville.

It didn’t make sense to me.

It still doesn’t.

I naively thought we’d made more progress.

And, yet, if I paid attention, it pointed to bigger issues, not in other parts of the world but in my own back yard.

I didn’t understand the regression after what felt like decades of progression.

I felt called to say something.

But I didn’t know what to say.


I want to understand.

I want to be part of the solution.

I stepped back and asked questions.

It was a time to respond not react.

I still didn’t know what to say.


What do I know?

I know love is the answer.

It always is.

I know there is a positive to be found.

There always is.

I know it was the behavior that was horrifying.

Not the people.

They didn’t come into the world hating.

They learned it.

I feel that the positive was the spotlight on what was happening.

It needed to be brought to light.

So that we could say this behavior isn’t ok.

So that I say this behavior isn’t ok.

And, yet, I still wasn’t sure what to say.


Behind hate is fear.

Just like the fears each of us have that color our view of the world.

We still think our truth is THE truth, until we can see that it really is just our truth.

And many of our truths change.

They need to.

Because most of our truths came from someone else.

They aren’t even our truths.

We learned them from someone else, and along the way, we realized they didn’t align with who we really are.

That’s what I observe happening in our nation.

There isn’t a white supremacist gene switched on at birth in some people.

Or any other kind of discriminatory gene.

They were taught to hate. They were taught to fear.

They have grown up with a narrow world view and can’t see what you and I see.

They can’t see the bigger picture that we are all connected.

They don’t understand that when I hurt another I am hurting myself.

They can’t yet see that the hate and fear is about what is going on inside of them not outside.

To look inside themselves is scarier than marching in a rally.

Much scarier.

The antidote to all fear is love.

I hope this is making sense.


Because in the end what I am choosing to offer, from my view of the world and my truth, is this…

There is nothing to gain by fighting hate with hate.


There is nothing to gain by fighting AGAINST anything.

Put all your energy in taking a stand for what you want.

What you focus on grows.

If we focus on hate, we will get more hate.

When we focus on love, we will get more love.

When we focus on improving ourselves first, we are improving the world.

When we focus on choosing more joy for our lives, we will have more joy to spread to others.

When we focus on getting to really know our neighbors, we will see that they are people with hopes and fears just like us.

When we focus on taking action for positive the negative will start to fade away.

You may think this is “hippie dippie bullsh*t”, but I experience it time and again as truth in the classroom.

People meet each other and make snap judgements about spending the next three days with “these” people.

And then, as the process unfolds, realize they have way more in common than they do different.

And recognizing that together they are much more powerful because they can see a broader world looking from their different perspectives.

And learning that so much more is possible when they work together and have each others’ backs.

Then there’s that beautiful moment when they look at each other from their hearts and truly understand that the only person that had to change in order to change the world was them.


My purpose is Joy.

My truth is Love.

I am committed.

I choose joy.

I love you.