03 Apr What Are You NOT Hiding? Pretty Much Everything!
I got a text message the other day from a friend who said his 6-year-old asked him why he didn’t laugh and smile much anymore? If you think you are hiding your stress from your kids, you aren’t (or from anyone else for that matter).
A mom I know told me she doesn’t let her girls know she doesn’t like her body, so that they won’t have the same body image challenges. They know.
We think we are good at hiding, but most of the time, we aren’t. Most people just won’t let on that they see your “stuff” because then they would have to admit to themselves that you see their “stuff” too. And that is uncomfortable.
A favorite High5 class process of mine has class participants, who have known each other less than 24 hours, give feedback to each other on how they are holding back. It’s literally mind-blowing for most class members when they realize that these people they just met, see right through the walls they think they are hiding behind. We definitely build walls, thinking they will protect us, however, they are transparent.
With that realization, what’s possible?
STOP HIDING, START LIVING
The first step is to stop hiding because you really aren’t anyway. We all have “stuff” in our lives, and when we can be honest that things aren’t perfect, or not the way we want them, then we can actually start to do something about it. When we are so busy hiding, we spend all our energy to not be found out instead of spending it to create what we DO want in our lives. And if you are worried about what others will think, that’s for them to worry about, not you. It’s none of your business what other people think about you. You can’t control it anyway.
ASK FOR FEEDBACK
Ask people for feedback and be open to what they reflect back to you. Again, it’s an opportunity for you to get real with yourself about what is really going on and what is really important. The feedback helps us see our blind spots. Sometimes we even hide from ourselves (or again we think we are). Seeking feedback will allow you to realize that people really do see your stuff … and they love you anyway. You can let go of the fear that had you build the wall in the first place.
GET CLEAR ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Take that feedback and get clear on your values and what is important. When you are taking your last breaths in this life, what do you want your life to have represented? The sooner you get clear on that, the sooner your choices will align with what you want your life to be about. Would your kids rather have time with you instead of you working overtime to be able to buy them more things? How about your significant other? What would show them that you love them? Would your team at work rather work with you, someone they can relate to and appreciates their input, or work for you, someone who tells them what to do.
Don’t trade today for tomorrow because tomorrow might never come. Take stock right now and let people get to know you. And, every day is just another opportunity to become a better you … and me.
You are awesome as you are! Are you ready to find your next level of awesome? Let’s talk about what that would look like. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule a call.