15 May Stop It!
I am giving you, for free, the best coaching advice EVER via this classic excerpt from The Bob Newhart Show. Many of will remember The Bob Newhart Show, while others haven’t a clue who he is. It doesn’t matter. Bob’s profound coaching will have you laughing out loud. Watch the 6 minute video now and then read on as to how to use Bob’s advice to positively change your life. I promise it will be 6 well spent minutes.
Stop It! S T O P, new word I T! Stop It!
While not everyone will agree with Bob’s approach to therapy, I believe it is quite brilliant. I’ve been doing a lot of studying about the brain and scientists agree that 95% of our behaviors, emotional reactions, attitudes, beliefs and perceptions come directly from our subconscious, with us only truly being conscious (present and in the moment) 5% of the time. Those subconscious beliefs come directly from things that we learned from others and through our repetitive experiences. In essence, we have little programs running through us that just repeat themselves again and again. Some of these programs are helpful like knowing how to walk and talk. Some of our programs having us doing the same things, the same way, every day for example it might be our morning routines, which means we become stagnant and we aren’t creating any new growth. And yet other of our programs contain limited beliefs or fears like we just heard from Katherine in the video. We may not be afraid of being buried alive in a box, however just as limiting are things like the fear of failure, the fear of being embarrassed, not being able to trust ourselves and others, being negative or lacking the self-confidence to go after what we really want in our life.
I call those subconscious programs that run through me all day, “my stories”. What I have become aware of is that some of my stories benefit me, while others don’t. One of my long held stories was “I am not athletic” and I had lots of “proof” to back up my story. I was the slowest runner in my class in elementary school. I was the last one picked for teams. My mom was not athletic so it was in my genetic destiny to not be athletic. As a result of the stories and “proof”, I became an overweight, unhealthy adult with back problems. Shortly before I turned 40, I became aware that I had the power to write a brand new story for myself and I didn’t have to own the “I am not athletic” story any longer. In short what I did was tell my subconscious self “STOP IT”! That story was clearly not benefiting me so I just needed to STOP IT! I wrote a new story. I started walking, and then running. I started working out and eating healthier and my story now is “I AM Athletic”. That is a story that benefits me. Now it’s about besting my best in that area and continuing writing new stories that challenge me. I recently took up hiking which I love!
So what stories do you need to say “STOP IT” to? Really connect today to the stories that you are telling yourself and ask yourself “is this story benefitting me”? When you truly connect to the fact that every thought you have is nothing more than a story, it opens up so many new possibilities because you can choose, in this moment, to write a new story. Remember, someone else’s story doesn’t have to be your story if it doesn’t benefit you! When you have a limiting story show up, literally say to yourself, out loud (if appropriate), STOP IT! Then in the next moment, write a new story that benefits you and moves you forward. Remember, you are coming from your subconscious 95% of the time so be patient with yourself as you rewire your brain to remember your new story. It will take practice and repetition – that’s how we learn.
I suggest sharing this video with someone close to you and gain agreement with them to use the phrase “STOP IT”, as a non-threatening way to signal the other person when they are stuck in an old story that has no benefit. I do this with my brother and It is an immediate trigger to quickly refocus on the positive and move forward (and it makes us laugh).
Personal growth can be tough and it is important to make the journey fun! Thanks Bob Newhart!