14 Nov Who Are You Setting Up to Fail?
Two weeks ago, in the span of about two hours, I had two different friends send me these two memes.
When I got the first one, I said, “WOW! That’s really good!” Then I went on with my day. When I got the second one, I stopped, breathed and recognized that the Universe was sending me a message. It was true that I had been spending more time in frustration than usual, and it was all about my expectations.
As leaders, whether at the office or at home, every time we choose not to communicate our expectations and gain agreement from the other person, we are literally setting that person up to fail. Be clear. That’s not on them. It’s ALL on you! Yes, you are the cause of your own frustration.
What’s The Solution?
There are two important parts to this solution. The first is to stop managing your expectations of ALL the people in your life, and instead, make agreements with them for a shared outcome. Once you have gained agreement, make sure that they, and you, have all of the necessary understanding and resources to be successful.
Part of this agreement should be that you will support each other AND hold each other accountable. This doesn’t mean you condemn that person when a deadline is missed. It means you express concern about the missed deadline and ASK what that person needs from you to get back on track.
The second part of the solution is to have the courage to ask for what YOU need. If you don’t ever let the people in your life know what you want and need from them, it’s unlikely you will get it, and once again, you’ll end up frustrated.
I honestly thought my ex-husband should know what I was thinking and what I wanted while we were married. Clearly, since we’re exes, we can see how that worked out for me. I know now that the poor man really didn’t stand a chance. I totally set him up to fail, time after time, because I didn’t have the courage to ask for what I needed. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. However, now I’m thankful that I DO know.
In last week’s blog, we talked about how everyone is programmed differently and looks at the same thing through a different lens. What might seem logical to you might not be interpreted the same by others. In this case, if you slow down and make sure you both have the same outcome, see the same picture, and have set check-ins along the way, you are setting both of you up for success. Now doesn’t that make sense?
If you are having communication challenges either at work or at home, drop us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll reach out to schedule a complimentary 30-minute, coaching call. We’re on your team, and our outcome is to set EVERYONE up for success!